When I first started offering private lessons over a decade ago I thought that success as a trainer was gaining results as quickly as possible. I worried about the owner's emotional state (a happy owner refers others) and less about the dog's emotions. After all an owner who has spent money to solve a problem that still persists isn't satisfied, and you know the old saying "a happy client tells 3 people, an unhappy client tells 30." If I could solve the problem the dog would remain in the home, tell others how good the training was because I "fixed" their dog, and everyone wins, right?
Well in those early years I quickly realized that every dog has an emotional side that drives behavior. And all too often the dog's emotional state was at least, in part, an underlying cause of some of those more common complaints from owners. If I failed to take the dog's view of what was happening into consideration the dog was still "losing," even if the owner was satisfied. I changed the way I work with each dog, dropped a professional membership that seemed to conflict with the way I wanted to train, and set out to begin educating owners about their responsibility of looking at situations from the dog's point of view first. This philosophy is not for everyone and yes, I'm sure it has cost me some business, but it is the way I want to train.
So often we work with owners who can Identity behaviors from their dog that they would like to change, and yet they haven't thought about the miriad of things that could be driving the behavior. They haven't thought about what they would like the dog to do instead. They don't give the slightest thought about the dog's emotional state or well being. All they know is that they want the behavior to stop as quickly as possible. Words such as "correct," "punish," and "bad" are almost always a part of the owner's dialogue.
I now always ask owners to try to understand that a dog doesn't magically know what we want from them. Every behavior serves a purpose from the dog's perspective, and it is a human definition when the dog is "bad." Many owner defined "bad" behaviors are often quite normal to the dog. When we understand the dog's view of our world we begin to become "connected" to him. If we are "connected" to the dog we can often change the behavior quite easily and it may not require a "correction!" The brilliant trainer Suzanne Clothier uses the phrase "how is this for you?" when working with any species. It is this phrase that embodies the importance of connection!
Let's look at some specific examples of connection vs. correction:
"Bad " behavior at the front door? When connected we look to the dog for signs of anxiety, stress, fear, or simply excitement. Knowing what the dog is feeling helps determine how to best change the behavior. Should we move him away from the door, and place him in another room with a chew toy before guests arrive to help him be more comfortable? Some forms of punishment designed to "correct" barking and jumping when guests arrive can exacerbate fear based behaviors, making a dog's behavior at the door worse instead of better. Dog's who suffer physical punishment at or near the door, or repeatedly in the presence of unfamiliar people entering, often resort to biting if given the chance. Dog's who are helped to " feel better" about guests often learn to relax. Dogs who are simply over exuberant greeters can learn that jumping means they don't get to greet if we ignore them, walk away from them, or move them away from guests using gentle guidance from the leash.
Pulling on leash! When connected we learn what the dog finds interesting, worthy of exploring, and important in the environment, as well as anything that makes them nervous, scared, or intimidated. Interesting places, smells, and people can be used as rewards for good decisions on the dog's part. What's a good decision? Sitting quietly, paying attention to the owner, and above all else, not pulling towards it! Any combination of these can result in the dog being allowed to sniff, eliminate, investigate, or "say hi!" Repeated leash pops, designed to "correct" pulling, are simply nagging as most dog's don't learn what it is we really want. Intimidation through collar corrections in the presence of something scary, or making a young dog move closer toward something it is frightened of, may serve to ingrain that fear forever.
Barking! This is the behavior most owners want to "correct" quickly, yet all barking does not mean the same thing! A bark is a communication attempt, plain and simple. What the dog is saying dictates how we change it. You cannot change it if you don't know what it means! Being connected affords you the opportunity to learn if the bark represents "Go away! You frighten me!" "Hey mom, play with me," or "I'm so lonely!" "Correct" two of these and you've now got bigger problems! Connect and you make changes that make you and your dog happier!
I choose to connect to both my clients and their dogs. I approach every class or private lesson knowing that they both have individual needs. I try not to "correct" my clients, preferring instead to empathize with them, "connecting" to their view as well. I see better training outcomes from those owners willing to connect instead of just correct! And the relationship improves, which truly is a win for everyone!
